[Csminors-l] Fwd: [SIGCSE-members] Fwd: [GCFL.net] Top 50 Programming Quotes

[Doug Baldwin]

	You may find this entertaining....

Begin forwarded message:

> From: James Caristi <James.Caristi at VALPO.EDU>
> Date: January 12, 2011 11:52:08 AM EST
> To: SIGCSE-members at LISTSERV.ACM.ORG
> Subject: [SIGCSE-members] Fwd: [GCFL.net] Top 50 Programming Quotes
> Reply-To: James Caristi <James.Caristi at VALPO.EDU>
> 
> This appeared today on the Good, Clean Funnies List!  Something nice to read on a snowy day.
> 
> Jim
> 
> Top 50 Programming Quotes
> 
> 50. "Programming today is a race between software engineers
> striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs,
> and the universe trying to build bigger and better idiots.
> So far, the universe is winning." - Rick Cook
> 
> 49. "Lisp isn't a language -- it's a building material." -
> Alan Kay
> 
> 48. "Walking on water and developing software from a
> specification are easy if both are frozen." - Edward V.
> Berard
> 
> 47. "They don't make bugs like Bunny anymore." - Olav Mjelde
> 
> 46. "A programming language is low level when its programs
> require attention to the irrelevant." - Alan J. Perlis
> 
> 45. "A C program is like a fast dance on a newly waxed dance
> floor by people carrying razors." - Waldi Ravens
> 
> 44. "I have always wished for my computer to be as easy to
> use as my telephone; my wish has come true because I can no
> longer figure out how to use my telephone." - Bjarne
> Stroustrup
> 
> 43. "Computer science education cannot make anybody an
> expert programmer any more than studying brushes and pigment
> can make somebody an expert painter." - Eric S. Raymond
> 
> 42. "Don't worry if it doesn't work right. If everything
> did, you'd be out of a job." - Mosher's Law of Software
> Engineering
> 
> 41. "I think Microsoft named .Net so it wouldn't show up in
> a Unix directory listing." - Oktal
> 
> 40. "Fine, Java MIGHT be a good example of what a
> programming language should be like. But Java applications
> are good examples of what applications SHOULDN'T be like." -
> pixadel
> 
> 39. "Considering the current sad state of our computer
> programs, software development is clearly still a black art,
> and cannot yet be called an engineering discipline." - Bill
> Clinton
> 
> 38. "The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should
> therefore be regarded as a criminal offense." - E.W.
> Dijkstra
> 
> 37. "In the one and only true way, the object-oriented
> version of 'Spaghetti code' is, of course, 'Lasagna code'
> (too many layers)." - Roberto Waltman
> 
> 36. "FORTRAN is not a flower but a weed; it is hardy,
> occasionally blooms, and grows in every computer." - Alan J.
> Perlis
> 
> 35. "For a long time it puzzled me how something so
> expensive, so leading edge, could be so useless. And then it
> occurred to me that a computer is a stupid machine with the
> ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer
> programmers are smart people with the ability to do
> incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect
> match." - Bill Bryson
> 
> 34. "In my egotistical opinion, most people's C programs
> should be indented six feet downward and covered with dirt."
> - Blair P. Houghton
> 
> 33. "When someone says: 'I want a programming language in
> which I need only say what I wish done,' give him a
> lollipop." - Alan J. Perlis
> 
> 32. "The evolution of languages: FORTRAN is a non-typed
> language. C is a weakly typed language. Ada is a strongly
> typed language. C++ is a strongly hyped language." - Ron
> Sercely
> 
> 31. "Good design adds value faster than it adds cost." -
> Thomas C. Gale
> 
> 30. "Python's a drop-in replacement for BASIC in the sense
> that Optimus Prime is a drop-in replacement for a truck." -
> Cory Dodt
> 
> 29. "Talk is cheap. Show me the code." - Linus Torvalds
> 
> 28. "Perfection [in design] is achieved, not when there is
> nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take
> away." - Antoine de Saint-Exupry
> 
> 27. "C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success." - Dennis
> M. Ritchie
> 
> 26. "In theory, theory and practice are the same. In
> practice, they're not." - Yogi Berra
> 
> 25. "You can't have great software without a great team, and
> most software teams behave like dysfunctional families." -
> Jim McCarthy
> 
> 24. "PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by
> incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious
> evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals." -
> Jon Ribbens
> 
> 23. "Programming is like kicking yourself in the face:
> sooner or later your nose will bleed." - Kyle Woodbury
> 
> 22. "Perl -- the only language that looks the same before
> and after RSA encryption." - Keith Bostic
> 
> 21. "It is easier to port a shell than a shell script." -
> Larry Wall
> 
> 20. "I invented the term 'Object-Oriented,' and I can tell
> you I did not have C++ in mind." - Alan Kay
> 
> 19. "Learning to program has no more to do with designing
> interactive software than learning to touch type has to do
> with writing poetry" - Ted Nelson
> 
> 18. "The best programmers are not marginally better than
> merely good ones. They are an order-of-magnitude better,
> measured by whatever standard: conceptual creativity, speed,
> ingenuity of design, or problem-solving ability." - Randall
> E. Stross
> 
> 17. "If McDonald's were run like a software company, one out
> of every hundred Big Macs would give you food poisoning, and
> the response would be, 'We're sorry; here's a coupon for two
> more.'" - Mark Minasi
> 
> 16. "Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it
> correct, not tried it." - Donald E. Knuth
> 
> 15. "Computer system analysis is like child-rearing; you can
> do grievous damage, but you cannot ensure success." - Tom
> DeMarco
> 
> 14. "I don't care if it works on your machine! We are not
> shipping your machine!" - Vidiu Platon
> 
> 13. "Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than
> spending the rest of the week debugging Monday's code." -
> Christopher Thompson
> 
> 12. "Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like
> measuring aircraft building progress by weight." - Bill
> Gates
> 
> 11. "Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the
> first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as
> possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug
> it." - Brian W. Kernighan
> 
> 10. "People think that computer science is the art of
> geniuses, but the actual reality is the opposite, just many
> people doing things that build on each other, like a wall of
> mini stones." - Donald Knuth
> 
> 9. "First learn computer science and all the theory. Next
> develop a programming style. Then forget all that and just
> hack." - George Carrette
> 
> 8. "Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a
> programmer. There are three, of course: laziness,
> impatience, and hubris." - Larry Wall
> 
> 7. "Most software today is very much like an Egyptian
> pyramid with millions of bricks piled on top of each other,
> with no structural integrity, but just done by brute force
> and thousands of slaves." - Alan Kay
> 
> 6. "The trouble with programmers is that you can never tell
> what a programmer is doing until it's too late." - Seymour
> Cray
> 
> 5. "To iterate is human, to recurse divine." - L. Peter
> Deutsch
> 
> 4. "On two occasions I have been asked [by members of
> Parliament]: 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine
> wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not
> able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas
> that could provoke such a question." - Charles Babbage
> 
> 3. "Most good programmers do programming not because they
> expect to get paid or get adulation by the public, but
> because it is fun to program." - Linus Torvalds
> 
> 2. "Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your
> code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
> - Martin Golding
> 
> 1. "There are two ways of constructing a software design.
> One way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no
> deficiencies. And the other way is to make it so complicated
> that there are no obvious deficiencies." - C.A.R. Hoare
> 
> Received from Trey Nolen.
> 
> --
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> 
> 
> -- 
> 
> James Caristi
> Dept. of Math & Computer Science
> Valparaiso University
> Valparaiso, IN 46383

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